The Roller Coaster Continues...

"Monday October 4, 2021:

I’m finally coming out of all this but with some residuals. My energy is still pretty low. I don’t eat much. Nothing tastes the same at all. My taste buds are gone. Sweet things are so ungodly sweet and sour things are so ungodly sour. I can’t handle anything anymore. I tried Jell-O and all I can taste are the dyes and stuff which I had never tasted before. I could always taste strawberry and now I don’t taste that at all. This was a super hard chemo. This one has lingered longer and was harsher. I couldn’t sleep much at all which was the worst.

Tuesday October 5, 2021:

Yesterday, I was getting so hot, I actually went into a store without my bonnet. It was huge. Also on Friday October 1, I over did it. Mama Laurel found me horses to visit, and I was standing for too long and exerted so much energy that I almost passed out. I had to rush to the car, and I ripped off my mask, bonnet, and sweater and turned on the AC and couldn’t breathe and made us rush home. My left leg also kept going numb like a dead leg. It was so scary. I still don’t have most of my energy back which is hugely different than any of the times before. It all just sucks :/

Wednesday October 6, 2021:

Today was such a good day. Mama Laurel and I went exploring to Queen Anne, Crisfield, and Pocomoke. We also went to an Irish pub that was delicious. On our way home, we stopped at Golden Eagle Diner to get a slice of Smith Island cake and I didn’t want to wear my Bonnet and while we were in there a girl came up to me and said I love this vibe and look! And I just said thank you and started crying and told her she has no idea how much that means and that it was like one of my first times really out without a bonnet on and this wasn’t really a choice. She said she saw me get out of the car and had to say something! It meant the entire world to me!

Thursday October 7, 2021:

It is just wild to me that now it has been a week and a half, and I am still not completely back. This last treatment really kicked my ass. This experience has been so insanely wild. It has made me appreciate everything so differently. Showering, eating, sleeping, being able to go shopping or walking around, speaking… those things have been so undeniably difficult and such a battle. Never again will I take those things for granted. All of this has also really shown me the true colors of individuals. From my cousin Lauren to Co-Worker Pam. It’s really interesting to see how people are and change. In their cases, it’s pretty sad and unfortunate but at the same time not my problem and I have learned from it. I really try hard to stick to my favorite saying, “when people show you their true colors the first time, believe them.” Sometimes it takes me a couple times of them showing me unless it’s something significant."