The Problem with Judging...and Some Good News...

"Tuesday August 24, 2021: The problem is, and like everything in life, people only see the good days. People see you before and after treatment and see you as yourself and smiling and laughing. They have no idea about the 6 days of literal hell you just went through. People don’t usually see this ugly side of cancer to truly understand the battle this truly is. People say they know, they have NO idea. I had NO idea, and I won’t be ignorant to say I even thought I did. This entire experience so far has been the most grueling, painful, scary, mind-fuck I have ever had or could even imagine anyone having. Walking the dogs this morning, Janice stops me to see how I’m doing. She is a nice woman with pure intentions. But asks blunt and uncomfortable things. She knows what is going on with me. She asked me how I was feeling and then says, so you cut your hair? And I just said uhhh well, I kind of had to. And then she goes are they getting it? And I said, the dogs? (Like getting what’s going on?) And she says the chemo. They getting it? And I just said uhhh, I sure hope so!

August 27, 2021: Quote by Me (Hayley Lewis): “Don’t let your pride get in the way of asking and receiving help when you truly need it. It doesn’t always have to be a personal struggle.”

August 28, 2021: I HATE when I ask someone how they are and they come back with it doesn’t matter about me, how are YOU?? How are you feeling? Or when they voice a problem and then say I shouldn’t be talking about these minor problems or blah blah. Like I’m fine! Talk to me like normal! Your problems are valid too!!

Thursday September 2, 2021: I forgot to write the best news ever!! I had an appointment with Dr. Chirla on Tuesday August 31, 2021, and she told me that my oncotype scores came back so low that after the last major chemo on September 27, I am done with chemo, and I don’t have to do the 3 months of weekly!!!! I am so excited! I still have the radiation and 5 years of hormone therapy but as of today, I only have 2 more chemo sessions left!!!!!"